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This month all our subscribers can win one of the following prizes from The Journey:
first prize: one free space attending 'The Journey Intensive' weekend workshop worth HK$3500;
second prize: 2 free tickets to 'A Journey to Freedom' - an evening event with Brandon Bays worth HK$700;
third prize: The Journey book by Brandon Bays - the story of her remarkable recovery from a tumour and the opening to Freedom that resulted.
Simon Chau is launching another Green Group in May.
Teaming up with Surdham Lam, manager of “Flow” the Second hand bookstore, and Catherine Ng, our local veteran green crusader is setting up a new base on Hong Kong Island to serve a bilingual and more intellectual sector.
They will be focusing on Healing and Life Coaching.
Contact them by calling 3428 2416, or Email：
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Maggie Phillips, Ph.D., is a director of the California Institute of Clinical Hypnosis. She has served on the faculties of many renowned therapeutic associations and taught in many countries world-wide, author of numerous articles and highly appreciated books: "Healing the Divided Self" and "Finding the Energy to Heal" and the latest on "Reversing Chronic Pain". Her workshops were so much appreciated that she is now coming to teach in Beijing, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia and Kathmandu on this trip!
Ahead of her forthcoming visit to Hong Kong Miranda asks us to drop the Knife. Exploring how to 'drop the knife' of your harsh judgment that begins the cycle of attack within your mind, relationships, and life is singly one of the most powerful things you can do in the quest to be happy and at peace.
Dropping the Knife
The 14th Century Sufi Master Hafiz was once asked the question: "What is the sign of someone who truly knows God?" It is said that he paused for a moment, drew a deep breath, and looked compassionately into the questioner's eyes. His reply was this: "They have dropped the knife. They have learned to drop the cruel knife most so often use upon their tender self and that of others".
This beautiful response speaks to the heart of the daily spiritual purification that all great teachings guide us to practice every day. In order to embody the universal virtues of love, kindness, compassion and deep respect for our fellow beings, we must commit to relinquish everything that is contrary to the attributes of our true nature.
'The knife' is a metaphor for our human habits of harshness, treasured defences and critical urges which we have learned to foster. Instead of greeting self and other as the embodiment of all that is most sacred, we all at times find ourselves holding judgments about self or other which are far from loving.
Realising that our response to anyone is lacking in love is in itself a signal that we are off line; however, we have all been conditioned to accept that our automatic judgments reflect reality. When our judgments are left unquestioned, they easily fester into grievances, and become wrapped up in past pain, which we inevitably then project onto present people and circumstances.
This sequence of the ego grossly distorts our perception and renders us incapable of seeing things as they truly are. Instead, our distorted vision informs us that in order to keep safe we must throw vicious knives of anger, blame and guilt towards those whom really, we love.
Love does not Attack
The mark of a spiritually integrated person is the degree to which they do not attack. Acting out the pain of the past onto present circumstances is the sign of someone caught up in a cycle of inner violence. This is hugely painful and, when we have 'come round' from our unconscious daze of anger or harsh judgment, always results in feeling terrible about ourselves. Feelings of guilt always follow from any degree of attack or acting out, because spiritually we are inter-connected. The Buddha taught that 'everything you give, you give to yourself'. It is for this reason that the golden rule of all religions can be boiled down into 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Whether we tend to direct our attack outward, or swallow it inwardly, our peace of mind is equally disturbed. Ultimately, all attack is self-attack. Exploring how to 'drop the knife' of your harsh judgment that begins the cycle of attack within your mind, relationships, and life is singly one of the most powerful things you can do in the quest to be happy and at peace.
Defences keep us trapped in old pain
In order to relinquish habits of attack, judgment, defence and harshness, it helps to understand clearly where they come from. Let's look at this first on a psychological level:
We have all had our heart broken and experienced intentional or unintentional loveless treatment from others at a time when we were dependent on their tender care. Others can only give us what they have received themselves; if they have not received kindness, affection or unconditional love, it is very difficult for them to give it. This often results in the same trauma being passed down from generation to generation.
Each time we feel hurt from other's unskillful treatment towards us, our sub-conscious mind takes what is happening personally, and internalises it as a personal verdict about our self. This is where inner put downs such as 'I'm not good enough', 'I'm bad', 'I'm nothing', 'I'm worthless' come from. Such inner attack thoughts usually form a negative core concept within our minds, and our ego comes to believe this is who we are.
We then form a defence—literally a fence around our heart, to help protect ourselves from future hurt. The only problem is, that the more defences we have, the more separate, lonely and frightened we feel. Each defence affirms that the personal negative verdict about ourselves is true, when actually the sequence of events which took place may have had nothing to do with us.
Although defences can help us survive frightening situations, as we grow older, our defences become ingrained and turn into automatic habits. This is what leads us to lose our centre and act in ways that do not serve us leading happy and love-filled lives. Behaviours such as withdrawal, acting out anger, sabotaging good things, trying to control life or other people, being dominant or subservient, are all the result of defences arising out of inner verdicts, born of incorrect judgment about who we and others are. What might have begun as a resource to help us survive a frightening moment, eventually becomes an obstacle.
Separation is the root of all suffering
I believe that the root of our defences does not begin in childhood, but rather, originates from the moment we first experienced our self as separate from our Source. This original 'fall from grace' was a kind of existential splitting off from the direct knowledge of who we are, and in Whom we intrinsically dwell. This birthed our ego mind, which at core is a thought of separation and thus guilt (i.e.: 'I must have done something wrong to no longer be in Heaven'). Believing ourselves separate from our source causes us to be fearful. It is this that makes us feel small, helpless and vulnerable, when spiritually we are mighty. With accepting separation as primary reality we lose our natural strength, and our natural centre.
In childhood, we play out stories around this dynamic to do with our self and our Source with the closest thing we can find to God—our parents! However, they too have egos and, in their humanness, inevitably cannot meet all of our needs. Each time a genuine need is not met and we feel a hurt, we sub-consciously affirm an attacking self-verdict, and defences kick in to help us cope. Consequently, our ego sense of self gains greater weight in our mind and before long becomes our identity. This is why many people as children felt a growing sense of heaviness—a loss of innocence; as though the memory of 'home' grew dim.
Understand the urge to Attack
The ego's strategy for getting rid of these painful feelings is essentially based around first internalising the feeling of guilt, then projecting it. Firstly, we develop a thought of self attack—an inner put down that, in time, grows into a core concept we repeat to ourselves as a way of making meaning out of difficult circumstances. Common examples are 'I'm bad', 'I'm not good enough', 'I'm nothing', 'I'm worthless'. Each time we hear or say this inwardly we are drawing a knife towards our sacred self.
When the pain of such self attack becomes too intense, our ego mind looks to who or what it can project its feelings of guilt onto. This begins as thoughts of judgment about others—parents, lovers, children, colleagues, world figures, strangers. If you really examine your mind, you will notice that it is quite difficult to think for more than half an hour without making a judgment about someone or something.
Judgment seems inconsequential, yet it is important to be aware that each thought of judgment re-enforces our sense of guilt. It is impossible to feel innocent and intrinsically whole if we are attacking another's innocence and wholeness. Every judgment is equal in its power to disturb our peace of mind. A Course in Miracles states that: 'It is not that you should not judge, it is that you cannot. In order to judge rightly, one would have to be aware of an inconceivably wide range of things; past, present and to come. One would have to recognize in advance all the effects of his judgment on everyone and everything involved in them in any way. Who is in a position to do this?' Judgment is ignorance, not wisdom.
Open, Defenceless and Free
Whilst psychology gives us the capacity to understand why those who loved us behaved in ways that were confusing and painful, unless we open to look at what happened through a sacred lens devoid of assumptions, judgment and resistance, we do not necessarily gain the resources to free ourselves. How do we heal our painful past? By dropping our defences, suspending assumptions and judgment, and meeting what hurts with unconditional love. Grace—direct experience of the Love of God—gives us the resources to move in this direction.
Contrary to the thinking of the world, defencelessness is the ultimate position of strength. It is not the same as passivity or victim-hood. To stand defenceless is to accept that your essence can never be harmed or destroyed. To be defenceless is to deny the power of anything external to hurt you, and to see all incoming attack as an unconscious cry from another to be loved, heard and respected. Ultimately, the 'other person' and their call for help reflects part of your self that has been negated or judged that now wants to be freed from the burden of guilt.
Obviously, in the face of incoming attack, courage and direct contact with the source of all strength is required. In the moments where another person has been directing anger, projection and attack my way, and I have been able to metaphorically hold the hand of God, remember my essence and to greet another's attack with genuine defencelessness, profound healing has occurred for me and for the other. The 'knife' automatically falls away, truth is contacted, and love is revealed.
In practicing defencelessness, I find it helpful to instruct my body to 'go soft', to feel my feet on the ground, to remind myself of our intrinsic innocence and wholeness, and to resist nothing that is arising. This is very akin to Taoist practices based upon deflecting attack via non-resistance. I find that if I can take down my armour, the other person is helped to come into more direct contact with what they are actually feeling, rather than simply acting out the defence that masks their painful feeling from a past heart-break.
Anger is not really anger
Projection by its nature is dishonest, and anger is always a mask for a deeper emotion. The latin root of the word anger means 'of grief'. It is safe to assume that anger is never the core feeling. Anger gives us a visage of strength, through which to hide our vulnerability, and this often feels safer than meeting directly the deeper feelings underneath. Yet in order to genuinely resolve anything, defences must be dropped and projections must be owned.
We are never really upset for the reason we think. Present pain is always about the past, and past pain can always be traced back to the moment of separation from Source—the moment of forgetting who we really are. If we go even deeper, we contact the awareness that even separation is an illusion. In truth, we are still utterly unified with God, and at one with all beings. All spiritual practice is designed to help us welcome back this truth.
Become a soul friend to the world
Taking things even further, I find it helpful to greet the person who may be delivering an angry 'knife' with appreciation. So much of our hurt comes through not feeling valued, and when we meet another with appreciation, it becomes easier for them to communicate what is needed with less hostility. Through appreciation, two previously opposing forces gain the awareness that actually, they are on the same side and want the same thing—love.
Imagine if we were to consciously practice defencelessness and love in response to all attack—whether arising inwardly or externally. Imagine if whole communities were to help one another dis-arm their emotional weapons. If the world is an extension of our collective consciousness, imagine what impact your practice of defencelessness could have upon this world.
Each day, make it your goal to lay aside one little 'knife'
A tiny fear, a scrap of judgment,
A habit of avoidance, a bit of shame or guilt,
A need to blame self or other
Give all your metaphoric 'knives' back to the Source, in Whose hands they will dissolve into nothing:
only love will remain.
In the words of the lovely Rumi, 'let your heart be silently drawn by the deeper pull of what you truly love'.
Drop the knife. Drop it now
Miranda will be coming to Hong Kong to offer a public talk on Awakening on September 14 and a one day workshop on Sept 15. For full details go to Holistic Events, and contact Editor Peter Lloyd –
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or call 2982 2807
April 26 - 27, May 1, 3 - 4
Ahead of her forthcoming visit to Hong Kong Miranda asks us to drop the Knife. Exploring how to 'drop the knife' of your harsh judgment that begins the cycle of attack within your mind, relationships, and life is singly one of the most powerful things you can do in the quest to be happy and at peace.
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