We are a whole month into the NEW year now. Studies show that for most people our new years resolutions would be fallen away by now!

But here in Hong Kong we have a second chance or third chance! – In Chinese lunar calendar, the first day of spring (which usually falls on the 4th of February) is considered the REAL start of the new year, where some take the first day of the lunar month as the start of the year (which is 18th of February this year)

So it's your choice now to reinstate your new years resolutions twice in February!

Now why is it so hard to put those resolutions in place?

One could be that we are afraid of success. It's because when we do succeed in changing our old way of being (e.g. exercise 3 times a week, leave work at 6pm, being straight in our communications) we are entering into an unknown territory and it can be scary. Being successful demands us to operate on a whole new level continuously. But it's always easier to stay in our “comfort” zone because we have become so used to being “uncomfortable” that it has become comfortable.

So as you set your resolutions to change something in your life, ask yourself clearly if IT IS OK to let go of the old ways. If there is something stopping you, write it down what it is. What are you getting out of from holding on to the familiar? See what it is that does not allow yourself to succeed. Compare the reasons why you want to succeed and why you don't. Then make your choice. Eventually you will be very clear there is NO reason to keep the past/old ways. Doing this with a coach or a supportive friend who can guide you may make it easier for you to be honest with yourself and get clarity.

Related to completing with the past is how we undermine our vitality and power to move forward as we allow ourselves to be stuck in the past. Here is a list of questions you may ask yourself:

To whom have I withheld communications?

To whom have I hurt or left incomplete?

To whom I haven't acknowledged?

Where did I fall short of my own expectations?

What regrets have I got?

Who have I not forgiven?

Talk to the people concerned and clear any incompletion out of the way. Acknowledge people who have made a difference in your life. Why not? That will make them and you happy and energized. For regrets and areas where you have fallen short, acknowledge them and the fact that they are in the past and nothing can be done now to change them. If you need to grief, feel sad, do so. Have a good cry if necessary. And write them down on a sheet of paper and burn it. Be clear that you are complete and put the past at rest.

Don't forget to acknowledge yourself too. What are you proud of? What have you accomplished in the past year? Often we are so caught up with checking off items on our to-do list we forget to stop and appreciate all that in life that's worth our appreciation, and that includes ourselves!

Lastly, sometimes we avoid action to achieve our goals because we need to make sure everything is “perfect”. We may spend months and years or a lifetime “figuring out” the best and perfect way, and then nothing gets achieved. (Do you know someone like that in your life?) I think we agree that it's not exactly a fulfilling way to live, but it keeps us from “failing”. Indeed if you have never tried anything, you sure will not fail, and you won't succeed either.

Truth is, as we well know, no one is “perfect”, nothing is “perfect”, and if we can truly embrace the “imperfections” then everyone and everything is PERFECT being the way they are. Instead of beating yourself up for not being “perfect” and making yourself get off an addiction cold turkey for example, make baby steps and acknowledge yourself every step of the way. Taking two steps forward and three steps back? It's still perfect. As one of my clients put it at the end of our program, “I have now realized that guilt has no use.” It's someone who has completed a detox on his own with great results and is still enjoying his beer every now and then. The difference is, he now knows it's up to him to choose every moment – and he realizes that he can always do another detox!

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step” – Lao-Tzu

Enjoy the process!

Anita is the Founder of the Integrative-Living (www.integrative-living.com). She is a Lifestyle and Nutrition Coach. She is a Certified NLP Practitioner, a Certified Holistic Health Counsellor (AADP) and a graduate of the New York based Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She facilitates wellness workshops, consults and coaches individuals and runs the Lifestyle Transformation program at Integrated Medicine Institute. She can be reached by email: anita@integrative-living.com.